Sex & Relationship Therapy

If you could welcome more pleasure into your life, would you?

When relationships break down, there can be a variety of reasons, and sometimes having the support of a neutral party to assist in softening places of stuckness, reframing misunderstandings, inviting more curiosity and supporting reconnection to better meet, love and hear one another is the best gift you can give yourself and your relationship.

Whether you are partnered, single, or something in between, I welcome all variations of couples and individuals for relationship centric work.

One of my favourite quotes from Gestalt Therapy, “A whole is more than the sum of its parts”, it reminds me of why I believe a holistic approach is key- Feeling unfulfilled in your relationship or sex life is where we often begin, it’s the sign post for “something isn’t working”. However, our first experiences with relationships and intimacy are typically earlier in life, making a holistic approach the most effective in getting you more of what you want out of life, intimacy and relationships.

Although there is much crossover, the main defining differences between sex therapy and relationship therapy are:

Relationship therapy is about how partners relate to each other.

Relationship therapy asks questions like:

• Why do we keep having the same argument?

• How can we communicate better?

• How do we rebuild trust after betrayal?

• How do we repair after conflict?

• Why do we feel emotionally disconnected?

The goal is to improve the relationship as a whole.

Sex therapy is about how partners (or individuals) experience intimacy and sexuality.

Sex therapy asks questions like:

• Why has our sex life changed?

• Why don’t our levels of desire match and how can we manage this difference or close the gap?

• Why is sex painful or difficult?

• Why are we feeling unfulfilled?

• How can we feel more connected physically?

• How do shame, anxiety, trauma, or body image affect intimacy?

The goal is to improve sexual wellbeing and intimacy.

Imagine a house.

• Relationship therapy helps strengthen the foundation and walls- communication, trust, conflict, emotional connection.

• Sex therapy focuses on one important room in the house- the intimate and sexual relationship. That room is affected by the rest of the house, but it also has its own unique challenges.

Many couples actually need both. For example, if a couple isn’t having sex:

• Relationship therapy might explore resentment, communication, or emotional distance. Conflict and repair, life and relationship transitions (including breaking up, opening up and de-escalations), boundary and relationship agreement ruptures.

• Sex therapy might also explore desire differences, sexual scripts, anxiety, arousal, pleasure, or medical factors.

I’m trained in both areas, and sessions often move back and forth between relationship dynamics and sexual concerns, because they’re so closely connected.

Ethically, I don’t practice sex therapy (one room) without considering the stability of whole house (the relationship). Having an awesome sex life means looking at the whole ecosystem of the relationship, sex therapy isn’t a spot treatment. And in some cases, this might mean temporarily pausing couples work to focus on individual therapy.

I welcome monogamous and non-monogamous relationship styles to my practice. I have both personal and professional experience with a variety of relationship styles and I'm very happy to support whichever structure you're practicing or considering.

I mainly use techniques from Gestalt Therapy, Art Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Sexology and The Somatica Method, these modalities are rooted in mindfulness, experiential practice, and bridging the body-mind connection.